Guilty

Guilt is an inevitable side effect of motherhood. We all experience it at some point. Whether it's for taking an extra long, steaming hot shower with the door locked or reading quietly to ourselves from a terribly written, Harlequin romance novel; when we know, deep down, we should be interacting with our wee ones. Guilt. It comes in various forms, but it always comes. And in my case, today, it came in the form of an ultimate betrayel... I hid fudge from my kids. It's not like they would eat it anyway, right? It has nuts in it; what kid eats fudge with nuts? It's Halloween. They had cake on Saturday and will consume untold amounts of sugary confections by bed time this evening. So why should I share the homemade fudge my adorable ninety year old neighbor made? He said butter when he gave it to me. I lost him after he said fudge, but I distinctly remember hearing the word butter. The magical confection was lovingly wrapped and conveniently disguised in aluminum foil. I, for obvious reasons, placed it immediately in the refrigerator as to maintain the freshness of the butter. But I found myself pushing it back behind the tea pitcher and the guilt began... The kids never drink tea therefore the location of the fudge shall remain a secret. They won't miss something they don't even know is there, right? What's the harm in selfishly harboring some decadent sweetness? Something just for me. Nothing I tell you. I carried them for 9 months. Each. I don't owe them anything but food and shelter. Fudge isn't a necessity. But look at them; they keep looking at me like they can read my mind. Their little puppy dog eyes following me, staring me down. They know. They seem to know everything. Like when I hide presents a month before Christmas, or when I pick up the phone to make an important call, even at night when we have "adult time"- they just... know. They can sense that I am hiding something from them. Keeping something for myself. Stop looking at me like that. I have done nothing wrong....
 Shit...Fine....... "Sigh..."
Hey guys want some fudge??

There's always next year.....