H is for Horse

As a mother of three I am often presented with moments that swell my heart with pride. Tear jerking moments when my children grossly exceed my hopes and expectations. Straight A's on a report card, completing an assignment that was too difficult for even myself, cleaning their rooms without being asked, remembering to flush. You get the idea. Today I was given the gift of one of those "proud" moments. My five year old, Caleb, released gaseous emissions from his unders that rivaled most grown man farts. No, really, there is a good chance it registered on the Richter scale.  He immediately jumped up and announces, "I have to crap!" Lovely word, I know. I quietly think to myself, I'm pretty sure you just did. But since he is quickly heading to the restroom I rise to retrieve my Scentsy room spray (shameless plug) to counter the rancid odor. A few short moments later he returns practically glowing and boldly proclaims, "I just pooped an "H", hu, hu, hu, H says horse." Wow....WOW. Many thoughts run through my mind in a matter of seconds, the first being, I wonder if it really looked like an H?? Since I heard a flush there was no hope in ever knowing for sure. Then, hm, why was he looking at his poop? I assume because he's a boy and what else do they have to talk about if not for poop. Then, wow that must have been a lot of poop, should I be worried? And finally I think to myself....Kerri, stop thinking about poop....
When people say children are gifts, they're correct. But not in the sense that children are amazing presents bestowed on us from the heavens above to be enjoyed just by their blessed presence alone. No. In all actuality they are a coping mechanism gifted to us by the angels. If it were not for the "poop" moments, the "look at that fat lady!" moments, and the "He was talking about you mom" moments, life would be boring. Now mind you I thoroughly enjoy cleaning half a tube of toothpaste out of the sink twice a day- at least they're brushing, the hour long fits ritualistic at bath time, and the acceptance that McDonald's is an essential food group. But it's the constant humor that abounds because of my personal version of SNL that allows me to tell other mom's, "Parenthood is awesome!".