For the Birds...
Let me begin by saying- I don't like technology. I guess that is not entirely true because I sort of do, but it is a constant reminder of how blond I truly am. For example, I sit down to "journal" on my blog and 10 minutes later I finally get to the page for typing...Please, hold your applause. Another tech frustration is the stuck "O" key on the laptop I am currently using. Are you aware how often the letter "o" is used in any one sentence? When I look at all of the red "misspelled" words I become acutely aware... And don't get me started on iTunes. I am an iPod-syncing-challenged individual. Bad. But technology is a necessary evil. One I have grown dependent upon. I do occasionally have those moments when I think, "Maybe we should have a day with no electronics...". Then reality sets in. A day with no phone? Are you kidding?? Television is not that big of a deal. That is why on the 8th day God created DVR's. And I love reading anyway, but still, no phone? That's blasphemy. So, anyway, I was trying to download songs onto my tiny little rock star known as a Shuffle so that I would be inspired to go running and could drown out the annoying people that insist upon speaking to me. But as it turns out, I am better at writing a blog...lucky you....
So, Jason and I flew up to a wedding this past weekend. J was actually in the wedding and I actually wore a dress and heels. Dear God, please make the blisters heal faster. Amen. Stupid weddings. I won't rant because I am sure at some unforgettable moment in your life, you too, have attended a death march. But have you ever attended a Catholic one? No? Don't. Make up an excuse. Have pneumonia, allergies or a really bad outbreak of herpes. It doesn't matter- Just...Say...NO! My first cause for concern were the chairs intended for the wedding party. Yes, the wedding party. When the bride and groom have to sit down....better get comfy yourself. You're in for a long haul. And if you are Methodist, prepare yourself to not have a clue as to what you are supposed to say in response to the priest's commentary. Yes, participation is required. And of course there is singing...oh yeah, we all love singing in church. There is nothing wrong with being Catholic, unless you are a 7 year old boy in which case, well, never mind. Anyway, needless to say I was completely out of my element. Oh, and a little piece of advice to the bride and groom. If you don't wish to be pummeled in the eye and other exposed orifices with rice, don't pack it in cute paper and hand it out for free. Just a suggestion. People are mean and friends are usually the meanest....
Now let's discuss the reception. Catholics like to party. I like champagne. A lot. It helps me deal with what I like to refer to as my social anxiety dysfunction. Or my incessant dislike of people. And here is the best part (it doesn't apply to everyone, but we're talking about me here) there are other giants out there! I met three. One was the bride, the others, her maids. Love at first sight. For the first time in my life I looked UP at another female. It was empowering. I felt like a wolf that had found her pack. Ok maybe not but you get what I'm saying. I know that all of you short people think being tall is awesome. We can get fat and it distributes evenly, we can reach the seasonings in the back of the cabinet. and can get the better deals at Walmart (they're on the top shelf). But it's not all it's cracked up to be. When you tower over the "cute boys" by a foot and a half, it tends to give you a complex. Bad posture is a given. Chip on the shoulder? Inevitable. Witty sense of humor, you betcha. One of my nicknames was the Jolly Green Giant. Ever seen blond hair after a day at the pool? Mine stayed green all Summer... And my gigantic stature stayed indefinitely. So like I said, I found my people. And they like champagne, too. What a fantastic time making fools of ourselves on the dance floor. There is a time in everyone's life when you begin to accept who you are and for me that time is now. I fully embrace my idiosyncrasies and my lack of reserve. It is me, who I have become and I like her.
So, Jason and I flew up to a wedding this past weekend. J was actually in the wedding and I actually wore a dress and heels. Dear God, please make the blisters heal faster. Amen. Stupid weddings. I won't rant because I am sure at some unforgettable moment in your life, you too, have attended a death march. But have you ever attended a Catholic one? No? Don't. Make up an excuse. Have pneumonia, allergies or a really bad outbreak of herpes. It doesn't matter- Just...Say...NO! My first cause for concern were the chairs intended for the wedding party. Yes, the wedding party. When the bride and groom have to sit down....better get comfy yourself. You're in for a long haul. And if you are Methodist, prepare yourself to not have a clue as to what you are supposed to say in response to the priest's commentary. Yes, participation is required. And of course there is singing...oh yeah, we all love singing in church. There is nothing wrong with being Catholic, unless you are a 7 year old boy in which case, well, never mind. Anyway, needless to say I was completely out of my element. Oh, and a little piece of advice to the bride and groom. If you don't wish to be pummeled in the eye and other exposed orifices with rice, don't pack it in cute paper and hand it out for free. Just a suggestion. People are mean and friends are usually the meanest....
Now let's discuss the reception. Catholics like to party. I like champagne. A lot. It helps me deal with what I like to refer to as my social anxiety dysfunction. Or my incessant dislike of people. And here is the best part (it doesn't apply to everyone, but we're talking about me here) there are other giants out there! I met three. One was the bride, the others, her maids. Love at first sight. For the first time in my life I looked UP at another female. It was empowering. I felt like a wolf that had found her pack. Ok maybe not but you get what I'm saying. I know that all of you short people think being tall is awesome. We can get fat and it distributes evenly, we can reach the seasonings in the back of the cabinet. and can get the better deals at Walmart (they're on the top shelf). But it's not all it's cracked up to be. When you tower over the "cute boys" by a foot and a half, it tends to give you a complex. Bad posture is a given. Chip on the shoulder? Inevitable. Witty sense of humor, you betcha. One of my nicknames was the Jolly Green Giant. Ever seen blond hair after a day at the pool? Mine stayed green all Summer... And my gigantic stature stayed indefinitely. So like I said, I found my people. And they like champagne, too. What a fantastic time making fools of ourselves on the dance floor. There is a time in everyone's life when you begin to accept who you are and for me that time is now. I fully embrace my idiosyncrasies and my lack of reserve. It is me, who I have become and I like her.
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