Feelings

There are so many times I read something in a blog or news article or some form of literature and I think, "I should let 'so and so' read this". Maybe it will resonate and then they will understand how I feel. Because the person writing the article or blog gets it; they understand. They probably get it, because they have felt it. They undoubtedly have experienced something similar and dealt with it personally. I woke up the other night in cold sweats, heart palpitating and on the verge of panicked tears. I had a horrifying dream in which both of my parents were taken from me. You know the kind of dream where it feels so real it takes you a minute to regain composure? And I lay there thinking that now I understand what losing your parents feels like, I physically felt it. Of course my parents are alive and well and I spoke to my mom soon after waking. So I don't truly get it. I only felt a fraction of the pain and only for a moment. Often times we can attempt to understand, comprehend, fathom, relate to, or simply empathize with someone's situation. Because our intelligent minds know losing a parent is supposed to be hard. But unless we have been in that very situation, we can't feel or truly empathize with someone who has. As a mother, how many times have you heard senseless comments by non-parents and thought, "you don't get it because you don't have kids"? Even now after having that awful dream, having both of my parents for at least another day, I can't understand what losing one might feel like. I say all of the time, "I can't imagine what I would do without my parents" and I can't. And I know that when the time comes for them to join God, I will be devastated; but right now it's a knowing, not a feeling. Somethings can only be felt. And until you have experienced that feeling, you can't fully understand. Hind sight is 20/20 and unfortunately not everyone has the same perception. Every life is different, every road taken has different turns and twists. It is never fair to assume you understand someone else's life. I am not attempting to lecture or preach or be patronizing, I just want to share my thoughts. It was such a powerful thing to realize how often I take my parents for granted-even knowing how blessed I am. The feeling that came over me thinking they were gone and then realizing I still had more time was so profound I just needed to tell someone. Stop taking shit for granted and stop casting judgement on others. God doesn't want that; not my God anyway. Life is too precious to waste on stupid disputes and meddling in others' lives. Be present in your own! So the next time you consider judging a mom in Walmart, or a scantily clad church goer or think someone should get over it-whatever "it" may be, consider that maybe they are feeling things you have never felt. They have walked in shoes you may never have to walk in. And pray for the ignorance of those who judge you, as they have most likely never felt the same things you have felt. And full disclosure-this is more to myself then anyone else, I need a reference the next time my parents piss me off or I think "Oh, she did not wear those shorts" because I am just as guilty of being an idiot. Maybe she doesn't have the money to buy new shorts and I am very blessed that I do.