Things I've Learned this Week...

I have learned, in the past week or so, several things. First, I have a lot of ribbed tank tops. They all used to be white. OxyClean can't get everything white again. No one should own seven off white tank tops. Ever. I've learned that I really like makeup- it's fun. I like it enough to add 8.5 minutes to my morning routine. In turn, I can't make fun of people who wear too much makeup anymore; I get it now. I've learned that my eight year old poops often. Probably, more than he should, especially in public bathrooms. He likes to talk about it. I've learned that some people really believe everything they read on the internet. Even items posted on Facebook. My daughter is one of them. From her, I've learned that the internet is smarter than I am. On Saturday, during college football, I learned that more than two glasses of wine makes me like people. Almost all of them. And apparently the ones I don't, need to know. So I tell them. I've learned that running more and weight training less gives you a "white girl" butt. Pants don't stay up as well on white girl butts. I've surmised that some young black men must have white girl butts. I have learned that even biologists cannot capture and keep a wild tree frog for more than six days. My daughter's science fair project requires she keep hers for seven. She may go to jail. I have learned that my ten year old is far wittier than I am, I may not be smarter than a fifth grader. The internet and fifth graders are smarter than me. I also now know wittiness can be back talk disguised as sarcasm. I'm not a fan. He's not a fan of losing privileges. All in all I'd say it has been a very productive week. I guess the saying is true, you do learn something new everyday. Some things you can't unlearn. Even if you try.