Dear God....

...I find myself saying this a lot lately. Out loud or in my head. Gently or with sarcasm. It's been one of those weeks. Or, actually, months... I find myself calling my husband multiple times a day. Asking for advice, just to hear his calming voice of reason, or because I'm about to face five someone and can't afford assault charges. I really dislike that about myself. I hate that I need to vent, but sometimes it seems an inevitable implosion will occur if I don't let it out. I love that I have a husband I can vent to, but I'm sure my calls can be a burden and he has this little thing called a job. Although, sometimes I simply need validation. "Yes honey, that woman IS insane." "Of course baby, you are right and everyone else is wrong." "No, sweetheart, you're NOT crazy." He does an amazing job of making me feel better but sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes life is hard, but I just try to remind myself that for most it is much harder. I try to focus on the positive things but even my positive thoughts can sometimes become jaded. The funny thing is God is an equalizer. If you become too "elevated" he knocks you down. But if you ask for his help, when you are down, he will lift you back up. There are times when I feel held down, so I search for the reason. Why? I love that question. Why me? Why is this happening? Sometimes the answer is complicated. Sometimes the question goes unanswered. But sometimes it is simple. Look up, then get up. Keep your focus small. What matters most? Who matters most? That is where your attention needs to be placed. On God. On your family. On that pocket full of friends who really matter. Not on Facebook, not your kids' friends' moms, not even the people you work with-unless you're lucky enough to call them friends. Better yet, focus inward. The answer may be you. As I like to say, everything is about perspective. If you perceive your life as awful, the craziest thing happens....it becomes awful. If you think you are blessed and your life is wonderful, it's probably full of blessings. I see this in my own life all of the time. Ask yourself is your life that bad or are you just bitter? Have the "small things" become so accumulated that they weigh you down? You just have to get up, knock a few of those little things off and take one step. Some days one step is all you can take and that's fine. You're still one step closer to where you're headed. For me, sometimes that step is writing it down, reading it back to myself, and then telling my self to stop being a vagina. Nowhere does it say life is fair. I know that sounds trite and if someone says that to me when I'm upset they are likely to be impaled by a kitchen utensil. But seriously, it's not fair. Read the news, go to a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, an orphanage. Then go home home and suck it up. Life. Isn't. Fair. The good news is your perspective can have a huge impact. Sit down and define blessing. Then really consider how many you actually have. Are children a blessing? How about health or friends or a job? What about family? Again your perspective matters here, because you could focus on your job as crappy and you might be under appreciated, but consider this- you have one. If you truly think about everything that is troubling you, you can think of someone who has it worse. And if you are truly down and out, then ask God to help you get back up. So basically, this is me sucking it up and passing my intel along.... you're welcome. Now, as my sweet friend likes to say "Put on your big girl panties and get over it."